Taking time off.

If mindfulness was a picture, it could look like this.

I accidentally kicked myself out of social media a few days ago and had a thought: why not breaking from it for a while?

I have been practising mindfulness for over a year now, and perhaps one of the most difficult thing is to avoid picking my phone when I am bored. Being bored, letting my thoughts come in and go is important. It is important because it allows me to deal with issues, rather than blocking them and distracting myself through social media. Over the last few months, I tried to delay plenty of things; not because I didn’t want them to happen, but because I knew they had to and I was scared. Each time, I heard a voice in my head telling me “do it”, I would pick my phone and distract myself and forget the thought. {Perhaps getting old makes me less inclined to take rushed, spontaneous decisions, but I am searching for the middle ground between procrastinating and rushing.}

Breaking up from a relationship that wasn’t aligned with my values, I am feeling very precious about the time I have in my hands now, what I want to spend it on and who I let in. When you tried to please someone for years, you don’t want to waste more time on those who don’t appreciate you and getting “likes” from people doesn’t do it anymore. I crave real connections.

I recently wrote how much I wanted to get done, finishing a psychology diploma, writing a book, moving house, starting a new life, spending time with family in France, continuing to enjoy my job, spending more time with friends, being an ethical human to name a few.

A friend told me “how can you be bored when you have this great book to write?” So true.

At first, I thought I needed to let myself be bored, that I needed to be kind to myself, I thought I was just going through “breakup” emotions and there was nothing wrong scrolling through the gram. But actually, this isn’t what healing is, because as I found out, you don’t heal by scrolling at “#Buddhistquote”. I had to face the “why” who made me log in each day. Yes, I watch too much Black Mirrors and I overthink. But despite portraying myself as a healthy happy positive person, reality is I have dark moments too and I must take care of myself.

I believe you heal by facing the pain, embracing it and letting go of it. And for that, I must let those thoughts come in, tell them “thank you for the lesson” and appreciate sitting in silence with a hot cup of coffee. You heal by letting life happens to you again, and whenever makes you feel good and happy, take a moment to acknowledge what triggered that. A kiss? A mouthful of food? A sip of wine? Sitting in the grass looking at a lake? Someone’s company?

Whatever it is, place it high on your “feel good” list and repeat often (apart from the wine, do drink in moderation!).

Let’s make the most out of life, make the most out of the small or the big things, enjoy them with passion, even if no one else understands you. Time is not guaranteed, be mindful of who you give your time to and what you use it for.

Peace, Namaste.

Caro

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